(as dictated to Rob Thoburn :))

My name is SARS-CoV-2, but you can call me CoV. If we haven’t met formally, I’m sure you’ll come to know me.

The orange man in the white house said I’ll just go away, but the scientists he deplores are correct that I’m here to stay.

Keep falling for his lies and that group with the 3-letter name. The longer they zig-zag the facts, the easier it is for me to win at this game.

Yes, I can fly through the air and land on your tongue. Though I much prefer your nose, from which it’s a short trip to either lung.

Once I’m inside, I can go almost anywhere with ease. My ultimate goal is to make as many copies of myself as I please.

I’ll hijack your cells and give them fake orders, which they’ll be all too happy to oblige, even as it causes harm and disorder.

I’m easier to spread than melted butter on bread. And particularly if you’re unhealthier than most, you might end up like toast.

Some of the people “in charge” are under-reporting my crimes, which is OK with me as it gives me more time. 

Inevitably, you see, my genetic code changes. This usually has no effect, but if you keep up your silliness, I can become much more of a danger.

For starters I would ask that you don’t wear a mask so that your uncovered breath may cause someone’s death. Also, please stay close together and talk nice and loud, stop washing your hands and resume itching your brow.

I’m very busy today, with several colleges to visit, but I wanted to drop by and tell you these things, including who is complicit.

Before I go, let me give you a glimmer of hope: THERE IS A WAY OUT OF THIS IF YOU DON’T LISTEN TO THAT DOPE.